Perhaps I’m just insane
To believe a silent muse is my twin flame.
Maybe the fact he haunts my dreams
Is not as important as it seems –
Could be images running wild in a limitless mind
Or fragments of wishes left behind.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter –
In the great scheme of things the clatter
Of my rambling thoughts is secondary
To the Divine plan and the life more ordinary
And maybe I am never really meant to know
But somehow through it all to grow.
Perhaps I’m meant to let him go,
The dreams, the love, the constant flow
Of energy that circulates between us
Infinitely loops, unbidden, intravenous.
Maybe there’s someone else I’m meant to seek –
So help me then, my heart is weak.
Perhaps dysfunction rules my heart,
Programmed to re-set repeatedly back to the start,
The source of this love that came from nowhere
And surges in dark moments of despair.
Maybe it’s all in my imagination, but
It’s an inextinguishable conflagration.
Perhaps my heart does not lie
But it’s just not meant for this life
Or I was never even meant to find him
And diverged from my path that’s ever winding
And maybe he will never see
The truth I hold, the love in me.
The only thing that’s really certain
Is through both my soaring and my hurting
He is my compass, he is my light
Whose soul seeks mine through many a night,
And perhaps I should forget and try to move on
And maybe I would feel less alone
(Though I’ve tried before and this connection
Came calling to me and changed my direction).
This force breaks me open, time and again
Yet each time heals – more love than pain.
Love is my strength, my faith, my truth, my guide
And I’ll never give up for all my life.
Perhaps it’s crazy, perhaps it’s brave
To keep my flame burning, to walk in pure faith.
And maybe one day I will understand why
The silence, the chess-game, the soul-songs, the cry
To action, the call to be free.
Til then, he is the flame in me.
Silverla StMichael September 2017