Today has been an introspective kind of a day, and I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting, some of which with my past journals.
I discovered the following letter I wrote in my 2016 journal and had forgotten about. I so enjoyed reading it again. As an expression I found it strikingly beautiful, and that may be because it was never intended to be sent, it was always intended as an energetic expression and writing for healing and soul inquiry purposes, so it’s very real and very authentic. In many ways it expresses things I still long to say given the right opportunity, and it’s far more unfiltered in some ways than anything I ever have actually said when reaching out in physical reality, because it was written from the heart and not touched by fear of being seen or rejected, whatsoever. It’s not perfect – in some places, it’s clumsy, or reveals a vulnerability or unhealed part of me, but it’s beautiful to me in its imperfection as much as its deep feeling. Today I feel like posting it someplace people can read it.
It can be powerfully cathartic to write a letter to somebody and express feelings and questions you have for them, without ever particularly intending for their conscious self to read it. You’re releasing what you need to without causing them any pain or intruding on their current lesson, path or journey, and in many ways, you’re addressing their soul, their higher self, and may even receive answers in other forms such as through meditation, dreams and synchronicities. By the way, it can also be powerfully cathartic and beautiful to write a letter to yourself, in the same way. In many ways, if you’re writing a letter to your twin flame, you ARE writing a letter to yourself, simultaneously, paradoxically, revealing the highest expressions of what you believe and feel about yourself as well.
Some people prefer to write such letters on paper and burn them, and there is power in a burn and release ceremony indeed, but I am glad I wrote this particular one in my journal, and it was there for me to read two years later and reconnect with what I was feeling and expressing at the time. ~ Silverla. Xxx.
I just want you to know that no matter what, you are loved to a ridiculous, insane, unearthly level – unconditionally, completely, irrevocably, always. The love in my heart for you spills out constantly and is so fast and far-flowing I know it is reaching you, all the way across the ocean, across the world, across the divide between your world and mine – and it is touching you for the better.
I want you to know that I feel the change in your vibration. Deeply, in the pit of my soul, this lifts, transforms and heals me and I thank you. My whole soul sings knowing you are healing, knowing your creativity is flowing again…you are flexing your wings…standing up once more as the angelic warrior you are. I see you. I feel for you. And I know you do this in my name, in the name of our whole soul family. And I am immeasurably proud – of the progress you made, the progress I made, to be your twin flame, to be one half of this immense soul, to be connected to you throughout time.
Despite all the challenges, obstacles, attacks you and I have faced, my beautiful, fearless counterpart, we are still connected; we are still able to reach across all time, space and physical circumstances and communicate at soul level; we are drawing closer together – I feel it – and we are radiating more power than ever before. All the fire of Avalon and all the pure, tranquil, peaceful, flowing waters of love in a mer-angel’s heart. I am not sure what is happening right now except it feels like a shaping, twisting, intertwining, merging – more intricately, more intimately, than ever before. I don’t know what souls are made of but the friction, electricity and magnetism between your soul and mine is at fever pitch: energies dancing and exploding and fizzing and kaleidoscopically weaving around each other.
No matter what happens – or not – I love you at this deepest of deep levels, now, and always. I am completely devoted to you and I and our union, our soul growth, fulfilment of mission and ascension. I honour all that you are, have been and ever will be and oh, honey, I love and accept every last part of you. Every shadow and every light, every wound and every gift you have, every joy and every sadness, every triumph and every defeat, every physical and energetic part of you. I love you in the most elevated, purest and complete way that does not compare to anything else I have ever felt on earth. You are home to me; you are peace; you are comfort; you are strength; you are protection; you are joy; you are my whole soul and my whole heart.
There is no pressure on you to say, do, give, or feel anything in return; you are where you are on the journey, and as all is perfect according to Divine will, I trust we are both where we need to be in the higher plan. But my truth is this, and I am called to express it like never before, and I know that in my angels having me express it like this, the message will be delivered to you somehow and will hopefully be a positive thing for you. What am I talking about? Of course it will be a positive thing for you.
To know you are utterly worthy of this sort of deep, transcendent soul love, and it is out here for you, truly. I would love nothing more than to hold you in my arms and express to you with my energy and its blissful, joyful response to being home in your presence what words perpetually fall short of expressing. Because the truth is, the words “I love you” just don’t cut it; they are not representative of every flip in my heart when I witness little, beautiful, passionate things you do; every moment I spend in a state of grace because we have connected and held each other in dreams; the exalted bliss I have experienced on connecting with you in the physical plane; the pain and weight in my agonised heart – like daggers jabbing where it’s already under pressure, crushed under a mountain of dark – to see you sick, vulnerable or in danger through my dreams; and yet the pure and unconditional sweetness and devotion, the tenderness that has motivated me to spend countless hours and limitless energy on holding space or sending healing or prayers for you should your higher self be open to receiving them.
I cannot, ever, even for a moment, not love you, because I am that love. It is who I am, it is why I walk the earth incarnate at the same time as you; it is where I came from and will go; it is my everything. That love I have for you, and for myself, IS home. And I am so incredibly grateful to be having this experience of such soul-expanding, heart-stretching, limit-blasting love – and I feel like it’s changing my world, maybe even THE world, for the better.
Your creative work has been my comfort more times than I can count. It picked me up at a time when my energy field was almost non-existent and literally lit fires in my soul. Your beautiful higher self has been my constant interdimensional companion for many years – even through a time when I walked away from my feelings for you thinking it was the most “sensible” thing to do – in my dreams and being able to feel your energy. Intensely so. In this courageous, loving and wide-awake form, you have given me so very much love, encouragement, tenderness, gratefulness, hope, passion, connection…you have serenaded me, smiled with me, held me…even flown with me in my lucid dreams. I so thank you for every precious moment. Because this is a higher aspect of you and it is all one; it is part of you.
I thank you, too, for all the love you have shown me in our past lives, despite cruel separations through prejudice, limiting beliefs, even untimely death. I forgive them all, every transgression by every soul involved, because while in a physical body on earth people can literally “know not what they do” and in fact, every wound, every obstacle has helped us to grow and ascend, and strengthened our union, fortifying our home within each other; and creating, through sharing every aspect, every emotion, every vibration of human experience, such a magnitude of soul love and energy between us.
I thank you for the moments shared in physical reality too. For the heartfelt smiles and smiling eyes sharing moments when I came to see you; for the eye contact when we met, for graciously allowing me to hold your hand and give you a gift, for feeling my urgency to do that and understanding it without words; for not rejecting me in that moment – even as I practically ran from you in fear and overwhelm and not knowing what to do with the energy, and I regret that every day! – and for picking up and feeling my energy imprint in that gift. I felt accepted and that I knew you knew how much love I had put into it. I love you for the electricity I felt holding your hand – the buzzing and feeling “off the planet” excited for days – whether that was your experience too or not. It almost doesn’t matter, because you and I each experienced, I’m sure and I trust, what we were meant to in that moment.
Did you know I manifested for that meeting? I get the feeling, though, it was planned in the heavens long before I wished for it.
I miss you, my dear one, with a physical ache and longing that can only belong to missing not any old part of my heart, but the part of my heart that I hold the most dear, the most precious, the most sacred. I long to touch you, to hold your hand, to hear your soul-song again. Simultaneously, though, I respect your free choice and your free will. I accept that may never happen this lifetime, while I remain joyous in the fact that I love you, and that experiencing that love I have for you continuously, repeatedly, unfailingly, brings me to the ever-present home within the heart-space, no matter how dark things get outside.
My beloved, we decided to make the challenges great, the chasms wide and the chaos around us crazy, this lifetime. We did this because we were 100% sure that our unconditional love was strong enough, bold enough, fearless enough, fiery enough and emanating the grace of God enough to surmount it all and touch each other’s lives anyway, and serve as an example to others: an example of unconditional love being the most powerful force in the universe.
Will you, my beautiful, powerful twin flame, take that leap of faith with me now to shatter those illusions and close those divides? To rise above the illusion of geographical and cultural differences and accept me as your twin flame? To rock the whole world in its axis and literally move mountains to bring those chasms crumbling into the ocean, creating new islands and bridges of light in a brave new world? Will you stand by my side and accept our mission to clear these negative programmes of separation, division, superiority, elitism and control – for all of humanity?
You have the power – and I have unending faith and trust that you will fulfil and excel in all your Divine missions. I invite you to stand with me in our full power, our full divinity, our full sovereignty, and I hold space for that. I allow you and trust you to hold my whole heart, as I nurture, treasure and protect yours through whatever we are both destined to experience in the meantime. And, faithfully, when you are ready to stand with me, in this life or the next, I will be right by your side.
I leave you with soul kisses that I intend you to feel as a most intense ripple of bliss. You deserve happiness, love, light, joy and fulfilment and however they are delivered to you – whether that involves me or not – this is what I wish for you. I have already loved you since the beginning of time so I have no reason to hesitate in stating with truth and certainty that you have my love forever.
May you be infinitely blessed every day of your life and beyond.
I am holding your space.
Written on 29.9.16.