The Spiral Of Surrender

Wow – has my path moved on since last I wrote in this section! I am humbled, awed and grateful at how my path is unfolding and how my learning and growth has been accelerated.

I deliberately asked for my path to be accelerated early in 2015, not long after the Winter Solstice when I was led gently but insistently back to the path of twin flame reunion. This was a big step for someone still learning to live in fearlessness. I am glad I took it. The road may be tumultuous at times and I may have crashed in confusion once or twice, but the speed of the journey is giving me incredible snapshots of the internal processes for twin flames everywhere.

I have noticed that there have been several points where I have done all manner of internal work and thought, “Well, surely there is no more I can do now? Surely I am at the point of reunion, and that will come in whatever way is best for my highest good now.” And it hasn’t. And then I have questioned everything: whether I am a twin flame, whether this path is ‘for me’, whether reunion is meant for this lifetime for me, whether I am doing it right, whether the goalposts have changed. The answer, however, seems to be that until physical union is in the here and now, there is still more to do.

I undertook all manner of spiritual cleansing and clearing since it became clear that I was to prepare for this journey. I have had DNA healing. I have done crystal healing on myself. I have had distance reiki. I have done healing meditations associated with a variety of disciplines including Transference Healing, Angelic Reiki and Solfeggio frequencies. I have been working on Shamanic Soul Retrieval using a meditation I discovered and really like. I have had shamanic and other readings for guidance along the way. I am cleaning up my act in what I allow into my body, and working on balance and being able to relax – something which has long eluded me. I am taking baths in Dead Sea Salts. (For recommendations and links feel free to email me at

What I have since discovered is that it’s not all about healing, though healing is important for anyone on a spiritual path, and of course with every negative pattern, template, energy or emotion cleared, your vibration raises, you become closer to ascension, you are able to see, hear and feel more clearly, your energy (and mood) lifts, your synchronicities – which are like guiding lights along the way – flow more. This journey is not even primarily about healing, because the very fact that we live on the earth plane where we come into contact with many energies and challenges on a daily basis – not all positive – means that we may never be quite in a fully healed state of perfection, though we can intend it so and there is always the scope for being more fully whole and healed than ever before.

The real progress occurs on the spiral of surrender (though I don’t necessarily believe in the traditional ‘steps’ that many mystics associate with twin flames). Surrender seems to have been misinterpreted by some as a single and somewhat cataclysmic event in the journey of twin flames: the moment at which the twin flame surrenders to the will of the universe and fully lets go of their ego, paving the way for their twin flame to show up in their life. It is not.

It is a spiral, a continuum, a heart-call, a heart-space, a cosmic mystery and a state of mastery. All at once. It is a state of being in which the outcome of the twin flame reunion is placed fully in the hands of the universe, God, the Divine. It is a state of being in which the twin flame 100% trusts that all is well and as it should be right now and that the universe is fully capable of bringing reunion into being, no matter what the circumstances. It is a state of being in which there is no who, how, where, why, what-if or when. It just is, now and always. In this state of being, there is the understanding that there are many dimensions to our existence, to our consciousness, to our experience. The understanding that on some level, reunion already is and has already occurred. I AM always in union with my twin flame, because we were never fully apart. Union has always existed and will always exist. The physical reality of this moment right now is only one level of my consciousness, and may not even be the most important one.

The twin flame’s journey is, of course, ultimately to bring their sacred union into all the dimensions simultaneously, for the highest good of all – often culminating in union in the physical dimension, which at the moment sits in fourth dimensional space. Many twin flames are uniting now in this way across the planet. It is not however something that is easily manifested using traditional wish rituals or manifestation methods, unless the souls are already in complete readiness having achieved union in all the other dimensions. In other words, unless it was imminently destined to happen anyway. This can be frustrating – I speak from experience – but what I have found is that as long as I keep walking the path, I know progress is being made. If I know progress is being made, my heart is at peace. The more progress IS made, the more fully I feel and experience my twin flame union, with the expansive blissful blanket of unconditional love that brings – and as I now understand it, the more dimensions our union is anchored in.

So, the spiral of surrender – looping around in infinite circles, taking me on mini-quests of growth, constantly bringing me back to myself again, and again, and again…Each time surrendered more deeply, each time a little more myself, each time a brighter and more blessed emanation of the truth of who I AM, each time with a new facet of my mission to explore, each time more anchored in and more living for service, each time more in love with myself, with life and with my twin flame more than ever before. I can say I am “in surrender” but it is not a phase, not a step, not a magic key. Yes, I am in surrender. But next week I might be more deeply in surrender, on yet another level, in yet another dimension, radiating yet another incarnation of me.

Surrendering means to cast aside the limiting thoughts, beliefs and fears that hold you back. The big ones for me are “it’s impossible” and “I’m not good enough.” And they are slippery little suckers, because sometimes you think you’ve got rid of a particular programme – for example, in my case, the thought of being unattractive – and it comes back in a different guise, for example, not being talented enough, or rich enough, or successful enough. This can be done through meditation, self-help exercises, or simply talking it out with a trusted friend. Once it’s out, it’s out. Another layer is stripped away. You open yourself that little bit more. You are able to surrender that bit more to the will of God and the Universe and your Divine plan. You are able to believe in it that bit more.

Surrendering means to step further into service. In the past six months I have branched out from purely online spiritual work to opening a stall at an antiques, collectables and vintage market where I sell spiritual items and tools such as oracle cards, altarpieces and meditation CDs (to name a few). I have reached more people with my readings and spiritual events. I give a great deal of my time and abilities away for free, while reining it in and charging for the more time-consuming services or as and when I need to, valuing my time and energy more. I have developed my online workshops to a level and standard I am more pleased with than ever before. Anyone who sends me a message in my capacity as a spiritual teacher, channel and guiding light, I will try to help. I am spending time each day intending and visualising healing for all people, animals, the planet and the universe and all sorts of sub-missions within that, including the union of all twin flames, the highest and best possible earth experience for all children, and the manifestation of miracles for those who most need them. I echo my intentions with actions as the opportunity arises, whether it be donating food to the local food bank, donating money to a cause that echoes my intentions, or donating my time to helping friends, family, my children or strangers I meet with wherever they are at in their journey. I love opportunities for quiet, synchronistic random acts of kindness. And I am open to being in service in any other way I am meant to be. I ask daily for my angels and guides to show me the best way of being in service that day. It is a beautiful experience to be in service and to see, to know, that you make a difference. We all do, of course, but we don’t all realise it. We also don’t all realise the power of realising it and doing it consciously. The power of love.

Surrendering means to be raw, to be real, to be authentic and to have your heart as open as it can possibly be at this moment in time. Both to your twin flame, energetically if you are not in contact in physical reality, or in all ways if you are, but also to all of humanity. The act of opening your heart more can be emotionally or even physically painful. You are showing yourself more to the whole world. You are emerging through yourself as the highest, brightest, most authentic version of yourself there has ever been. It means speaking your truth, more and ever more. It means having the courage to say or write or do things you have not previously done. It means looking the forces of Impossible and Not Good Enough in the face and saying “It IS possible. I WILL do it. I AM good enough. I AM enough.” It means following your dreams and those crazy gut feelings and hunches and intuitions that seem to come out of nowhere; of course, they don’t come out of nowhere. They come from the other dimensions, from your higher self or your twin flame or your guides or your angels or your loved ones in spirit or even God. Even if they are scary, or are something you have never dared to do in your life before.

I am in the process now of creating an expression of love for my twin flame which involves one of my biggest loves – music – and which involves reaching out in a way I have never dared to before. I am holding space for my twin flame to grow into union as I am now. I am loving all those in my life in a deeper, more open way than ever before, while being aware that the status quo could change, any day, any second, and I am prepared for that. I am also open for union to occur in the way it is meant to, which may mean relationships changing, or it may mean my twin flame’s energy channelling through my existing relationships, or there may even be other ways I am not yet aware of in my current state of consciousness, because I trust the higher beings and the universe and God and they can see from an expanded perspective I cannot even conceive of in my present place in the journey. I am walking my talk more than ever before, but I am also fully prepared to open up even further, to surrender even more deeply to my path, my purpose, my twin flame reunion and the Divine will. I am aware that there is no end to this journey, and that that is a joyful thing, because the journey itself is joyful. I am grateful.

I AM the sacred Divine Feminine standing in my power more fully than ever before, holding a love vibration for the Divine Masculine which is higher, stronger and more amplified than ever before.

And every day I feel like a different person, though the outward appearances change slower and more subtly than that. And every day I do not know whether I am going to be riding higher than ever on waves of ecstasy and excitement or crashing to new depths of despair. And every day I love my twin flame more – which at its core is equally loving myself and all of humanity more – than ever before, and become stronger yet more vulnerable in the process.

And that is ok. All is well. All is as it should be right now. I AM love. I AM union.

And so are you, beautiful ones, whether you feel it yet or not. We are all on our way. May you all be blessed today and always in your heart-quests and your unique journeys and your soul’s explorations and your discovery of meaning more than ever before. I love you all.

~ Copyright Silverla StMichael 2015 ~


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