Twin Flames 101

So let us start with the spiritual subject perhaps closest of all to my heart: twin flames. I will pre-warn you that there are a lot of conflicting ideas, articles, videos and other sources of information out there about twin flames, so you really need to use your discernment and your “inner radar” when reading or listening to anything on the topic.

I think this is because it’s a notion that really captures our human hearts because essentially, we are here, on this planet, at this time in human history, to learn about love. It is what most of us crave above everything else, above worldly or material possessions, above success, above wealth – that human connection and knowing that we are loved. And yes, twin flames are about love – about a deep, unconditional and spiritual love that is unlike any other. However, they are also about a particular spiritual template or programme, designed to change the paradigm for relationships on this planet as it transitions into the higher dimensions. It is the romantic aspect of twin flames that many people feel drawn to, and there have been many different interpretations – but this is only a small aspect of the whole story.

Let’s start with you. If you have found this page by searching the term “twin flames” on the internet, it is likely that you yourself have been drawn to the term. If you have been sychronistically seeing the word “twin” or “flame”; seeing the master numbers such as 1111, 222, 444, 555, etc; pairs of swans; infinity symbols; blazing or flaming hearts; discovering articles or videos about twin flames without really going looking for them; hearing meaningful songs or songs that stir an emotional reaction with their message; noticing pictures, videos, creative endeavours, writing or the name of somebody repeatedly and wondering about your connection with them and why they keep appearing to you; or been told by a channel or psychic that you are a twin flame; then it may be time for you yourself to fully awaken to your twin flame lineage, mission and allowing your twin flame into your life. If you are just curious or just liking the sound of it because it sounds romantic, then maybe not. But only you can ever really know and understand, deep inside your soul, why you have been guided to read something at a particular time.

Personally, I discovered the idea of twin flames when I was in a very low place, in a relationship which was sapping my self-esteem and challenging my sense of self-worth. As I have always been spiritual, during that time, in the earlier days of the internet being widely available, I would spend a lot of my spare time looking at spiritual blogs and websites on the internet. I actually came upon a blog written by a woman whose twin flame was in spirit and it really got inside my heart. I deeply desired such a close connection as she was describing and being able to feel like I was always unconditionally loved. It was the most important dream in my heart at that time. So I asked the universe and God, earnestly and with an open heart, whether I had a twin flame and for them to be revealed to me if I did, expecting to encounter them in spirit, like the woman whose blog I had read. I didn’t realise that your twin flame could potentially be incarnated at the same time, back then.

The universe and God delivered, in time (what we twin flames often call good old Divine timing) but my own personal twin flame connection was not what I expected it to be at all: I discovered, over many, many years of lucid dreams, synchronicities, signs, readings, claircognizant and clairaudient “knowings” of things before they happened that proved the connection to me, and actually crossing paths with this person, that my twin flame is indeed incarnate at the same time to me. I discovered too that in third dimensional physical reality there were many blocks and obstacles to us coming into union, to him even ever knowing I was alive. I also discovered the true meaning of unconditional love, the bliss of heart expansion it awakens, along with my own inner power, strength and faith which still steers me on this path today – about 14 years since the universe revealed my twin flame to me, and even longer since reading that blog post. I have faith in my twin flame union because it has been ever-present as a force for good in my life since I asked that question – no matter what physical reality currently presents. And yes, I have had soulmate relationships with some beautiful but transient connections in between, as I was guided to do so. My life has never been without love, though that “happy ever after” has been elusive.

I feel it is important to share the place in my journey I am coming from which has led me to the following understandings.


So what is a twin flame?

I understand a twin flame to be a split-soul being: one soul inhabiting two physical bodies, or split across the veil, part in a physical body and part watching over from the spiritual realm as a guide. My understanding is that this was a conscious decision that was made by the soul many eons ago, that such souls are once-ascended beings who volunteered to return to Earth in this form for a specific purpose.

Some will say that twin flames don’t often incarnate together, but I know of quite a string of past lives I share with my twin flame. I feel it is more true to say that twin flames have often not come into physical union with each other in their past lifetimes, though they have incarnated together in some key lifetimes in order to further each other’s growth and ascension, and in other lifetimes one has incarnated and the other has acted as a guide from above. I know in my experience there have been lifetimes where I have come together with my twin flame before but it has been very much a “star-crossed” experience with us being separated or divided by constraints of society, geography or even death. Some people believe that twin flames will only come into the full, glorious, loving physical union in their final lifetime on Earth, after which they will ascend back into the higher realms. I am not sure about this, but what I do believe for sure is that all twin flames WILL reunite and come into a beautiful, loving, sacred union on Earth: the only question is when (and this can in some cases include another lifetime).

There is a difference of opinion, too, as to whether everyone has a twin flame, whether everyone is a twin flame. It is my experience that twin flames have had to go through some very challenging journeys to get to the place we have currently reached. We signed up for this, and so it is all good and part of the Divine plan; however, I do also see many other people on earth who do not have such challenging journeys to a lasting and fulfilling union with another – people who have had beautiful relationships and been a shining example to others in the old paradigm showing how wonderful love can be and how true love can last a lifetime. These people have been absolutely instrumental in shifting the Earth’s frequencies towards patterns of unconditional love and are wonderful lightworkers of many different types. Twin flames, conversely, are partly here to shatter illusions of separation and duality – taking on the baton passed on by the lightworkers that shone as beacons and inspirations before them to the next stage of the race. As such – and I speak from knowing a lot of conscious twin flames around the whole globe, some of whom have come into union and some of whom have not yet – they tend to experience repetitive challenges in their love life and dualistic obstacles in their actual twin flame union, presenting as divides such as geographical distance; being born into different societal classes, cultures or religions; being born into different levels of wealth or poverty; being in the public eye or in relative obscurity; coming to know of each other when still in relationship with a soulmate; sometimes, more than one of the above.

My truth, therefore, is that not everyone on earth is a twin flame. That does not mean twin flames are any more special than any of the other serving lightworkers on the planet. They are simply one category of soul or lightworker on the planet, doing what they came here to do. All souls on the planet have a spiritual purpose and destiny to fulfil, and this covers many walks of life and lines of work, some of which we wouldn’t necessarily even consider to be spiritual and yet they are still playing their instrumental part in the growth and expansion of the collective human soul. We are all special and we are all important. And we all need each other, too!

How will I know if I am a twin flame?

It is worth saying, straight out, that if you are a twin flame, you will only come to know that you are a twin flame when the time is right, not just for you but in terms of the overall Divine plan. We awaken spiritually in Divine timing, as ordained by the universe, by God, by our higher selves, who can see from a higher perspective, with a fuller picture and what is for the highest good.

How may you find out? Perhaps by coming upon an article like this one that you really, strongly, resonate with in your heart. Perhaps by having great runs of some of the signs and synchronicities I listed above that are common to twin flames. Perhaps by having a spiritual reading. Perhaps by meeting your twin flame, or seeing something of their online presence, and feeling a mystical and magnetic pull towards them or experiencing a heart connection or expansion upon seeing them. As I explained, it took me many years from the moment of asking to truly know, 100%, that I was a twin flame. And I experienced all of the above and more as confirmation and validation at some point along the journey.

A similar question, and too intertwined with the first question to give it a separate section, would be: “How do I know if I have found my twin flame?” There are many people out there who will tell you “you just know” and that frustrates me; I do agree that at soul level, at heart level, yes, you do just know. However, if it seems surreal or fantastical or impossible due to the situation, and particularly if you are a control freak and/or stubborn type (like me), your conscious mind (as it is programmed to do so) will question. And question. And question. Until you have questioned and received the answer “yes” so many times you know there is no point questioning any more, and surrender to it.

One thing I will say – that I know may be frustrating but I am here to speak my truth – is that I don’t believe it’s something you can know overnight. It’s not the same thing as love at first sight, because you can experience love at first sight with a soulmate you’re meant to be with at any one given “time”. For me, it was more like the connection came first and made me curious and the falling in love part actually crept up on me – by the time I realised how I truly felt, there was no escaping it. It also depends how you come to know who your twin flame is, whether you will experience the full extent of the heart and soul connection right away. In my case, I met my twin in a dream first before I even knew who he was in physical reality! There are many indicators and what I believe will give you that full heart knowing that puts you in a place of deep faith and trust, is experiencing many indicators over time, and experiencing the depth and intensity and profundity and beauty of the Divine unconditional love this person will inspire in you – a love that feels like it can move mountains and part oceans (and in a manner of speaking, it can) – that does not fade or die over time.

The main indicator is how you feel in their presence. They reflect your best self back to you, and you can literally see the God in them in their eyes, and feel it through their heart, through your heart. The first meeting may feel extremely intense, because it is literally a collision of energies that creates a third Divine energy and may leave you pumped-up, running on adrenaline, or in a different dimension for days, weeks. I know that happened to me after I physically met my twin flame, with people commenting that I seemed to literally be on another planet. It will also be synchronistic and seem fated – the way you meet them may have been foreshadowed or unlikely – you may be in an unusual place for you, unchartered territory. I dreamed of orchestrating physically meeting my twin flame with his higher self on a London bus and we did, subsequently, meet in London – just as one example of this. Being in their presence is a state of grace and a state of feeling at home in a way you never have before. It lifts you, uplifts you, strengthens you. I am not saying it’s all moonlight and roses and of course it is not – but you won’t have experienced that sense of connection or intensity with anyone else.

Another indicator is that you may have lucid dreams in which you meet with your twin flame. Again, I know a lot of twin flames, both in physical union and not in physical union, and not all of them have these lucid dreams. Personally I feel I needed to have them to keep my faith because of my particular situation and the prolonged illusion of separation – and I developed the ability to lucid dream at a young age. These dreams feel very physical and are very vivid with details that stand out and can be easily recalled. You may also discover that you share past lives with your twin flame, through meditation, spontaneous visions or day flashes, dreams, readings, or regressions. You may have – and certainly as you grow the connection you will develop – a heart telepathy with your twin flame, which sometimes manifests as feeling each other through physical sensations, and sometimes manifests as heard messages or knowings. There have been a number of things I have known or predicted were going to happen to or with my twin flame well before they happened, and this came from the heart telepathy I describe. There will also be signs – lots of them! Seeing your twin flame’s name or initials repeatedly, seeing the twin flame signs I described above, hearing songs you associate with them in odd places at odd times, receiving information about them through friends or acquaintances in times of separation (in short, not being allowed by the universe to forget about them)…and probably many more I haven’t even experienced yet. Confirmations may also come through readings though, again, be discerning and choose readers by word of mouth or because you resonate with things they are teaching in your heart. Some are better than others about connecting with your twin’s higher self through your higher self, and some are better than others about providing truth in a life-affirming way without just telling you what they think you want to hear.

You are the only true authority on whether you are a twin flame or whether someone is your twin flame. Your soul knows. You consciously come to know over time, by walking the journey with an open heart. Even world-class readers can get it wrong if you are not consciously meant to know at any one time – for example, if you’re going through believing someone is your twin flame as a soul lesson, a reader may pick up that person as your twin flame, and you both may later discover that they were not. And yes, this has happened to me as a reader!

What are twin flames meant to do?

The overriding soul directive for twin flames is to create a new paradigm for relationships on Earth befitting of fourth and fifth dimensional living, which we are now growing into as a collective and as a planet. Rather than the old paradigm of co-dependent relationships, which can become dysfunctional and less than loving over time, or can become painful or stressful as people “grow apart”, this is a paradigm of sacred union. Sacred union, or Divine union, has its foundations at the spiritual level, so the bond and the connection forms in the higher dimensions first; the souls recognise each other, and then, as the conscious humans become more awake and aware, the union filters down into the physical dimension. This is why many twin flames dream of each other first or have a “knowing” that the other half of their soul is out there well before they come into physical contact. This is about more than just soul recognition, which can also occur between soulmates who have incarnated together or been in loving relationships with each other in many lifetimes; this is also about orchestration of the beautiful foundations of an unconditionally loving bond, co-created together in the higher realms.

All people on Gaia will be able to access the new template of sacred union as it becomes more anchored and established on the Earth plane. It is my belief, too, that the collective will begin to experience (if they haven’t already) what many twin flames have experienced in terms of glimpsing the orchestration of their sacred union in the higher realms through dreams, day flashes and meditation – or glimpsing their Divine counterpart – their closest vibrational soul match – this way prior to meeting them.

Alongside this overriding directive, twin flames are also pre-ascended beings who may fall into other categories of lightworkers and have other directives to carry out too. Those who are incarnated angels may be charged with bringing and anchoring light on the planet, raising the vibrations of humanity, healing or “battling” the dark with the forces of unconditional love. Those who are incarnated elementals such as faeries or mermaids may be charged with working with wildlife, animals, nature, conservation or raising awareness of living more consciously with green, vegetarian or vegan lifestyles. The souls of many lightworkers also have roles in the higher dimensions such as teaching, guiding, supporting, healing, gatekeeping, transmuting – whether they are aware of it or not. These are just a few examples from my own experience. As part of the twin flame path, they are constantly expanding their heart centres and sending out, vibrating out, more unconditional love into the world. This sometimes expresses through creative work such as art, music, writing, cooking, crafting, sporting endeavours; it sometimes expresses through a deep desire to help others in charity work, healing professions, guiding or advisory roles, education roles, roles in protection and justice, or being a guiding light within a community or someone who goes out of their way to smile at strangers or help out anyone they come across in their path. As they become consciously aware of their own twin flame and their own union and the obstacles (illusory though they may be in a timeless, eternal, higher-dimensional-perspective sense) in physical reality to manifesting it, they will also take leaps of faith that will challenge, break down or shatter dualistic illusions such as those I listed earlier.

Twin flames also have very open hearts, by necessity, for it is this “radar” through which they will ultimately connect with their own twin flame (which they need to for ascension purposes, regardless of romantic interest). This means they are often sensitive to energies and empathetic, and are often open to spirit as psychics, channels and mediums due to this powerful internal antenna. Their open hearts enable them to transmute a lot of pain, grief, trauma, wounding and old patterns from the collective. This may lead to energy drain, exhaustion, mental illness such as depression (especially if they are not consciously aware of what they are doing) or symptoms of chronic illness. If you are beginning to feel that you may indeed be a twin flame, therefore, it is very important to put in place daily rituals for psychic protection, energy shielding, clearing and cleansing the energy fields, to prevent burnout. For this reason, the very next 101 I will put out will be on these vital areas of spiritual living.

Like any other person on the planet, a twin flame will also have individual roles and contracts to fulfil in their lifetime, and the usual indicator of these life purposes is whatever your heart is led to – whatever brings joy to your soul. Wherever your true passion lies is the key to what you are meant to do with your time and how to shine ever more of your light on the planet.


How do twin flames achieve sacred union?

If there was a magic key, I would gladly share it, but I do not think there is. Honestly, much of the key is down to Divine timing. We all have certain things we have to do in certain places and for certain people. Yes, we have free will, but a lot of key things our soul signed up to do before we were incarnated are scripted – or at least pencilled in – already. Often we can choose the details around it or when exactly we choose to take up each mini-mission or how we respond and how we get each job ticked off our list. However, a union cannot be “forced” before its time or instantly manifested as soon as the first of a pair of twin flames awakens to the truth of their union. It is usual for one twin to awaken to it first and becoming a kind of guiding light. That is the pattern in most of the twin flame unions I have witnessed.

Divine timing is not actually about time; it is about vibratory states and alignment and balance, and this is not just about you and your twin flame, but about the whole human collective. There may be certain things you need to assist with prior to coming into physical union, and certain things you need to assist with while in physical union. You may have things to do with soulmates before coming into physical union with your twin flame and similarly, so will they. Many twin flame unions can seem quite challenging both from the inside and the outside, but a true awakened and illumined twin flame will not view it this way, because they have the internal connections and the knowing and the faith they need to proceed with the journey without the unconditional love – the forever heart-fire – they have for their twin flame ever diminishing.

This internal compass is invaluable – it’s what hammers home the truth that you are already in union. If you are a twin flame, you ARE in a sacred union. It just may only be manifesting in a higher dimension right now, in which case, when you need it and when your hand needs to be steered a little, or your faith needs to be buoyed a little, or your questioning mind needs to be shushed a little, your heart will reveal glimpses of your higher-dimensional union through dreams, telepathic experiences, freaky signs and synchronicities, or even an unexpected crossing of paths or connection with your twin flame. And in 14 years I have found that mine has never once steered me wrong, even when it steered me in the direction of turning my back on my twin flame and manifesting a relationship with a soulmate; even when what it had to say to me was painful and heartbreaking and not at all what I wanted to hear; even when what it had to say has been ridiculous and fantastical and seemingly impossible. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now and that all is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to. It’s impossible that it can be any other way, because the glimpses I get are so vivid, so clear and so aligned with truth that my heart can feel it.

I do not subscribe to some of the teachings people put out there about runners and chasers or stages in the twin flame journey – if you “run” at any point it is because you are meant to be doing something else at that time and while there are certain truths about experiences that are common to most twin flames on the journey, I do not believe they happen in a particular order or timescale and in fact what I have witnessed is that every twin flame union is unique. The best advice I can give is to follow that internal compass, follow the signs, the nudges, the intuitions, the dreams, the knowings of your heart – because only they can guide you to the next step on your path at any one given time – and it is when I have followed this in complete surrender that I have seen shifts and forward movement in my own path, every single time. There is no one formula, no one progression, no one path and no one “right way”. We are all unique. And by the way, that’s a beautiful thing – because it means that collectively, we can heal and transmute more patterns, more illusions of duality and in more areas of life than if we were all the same.

Of course, there are things you can do to heal, to come into more balance and harmony with yourself, or in other words, with your higher self, your soul. This furthers union because, as previously mentioned, you and your twin flame are already in union. You are already – and always have been and always will be – one soul, even though the physical illusion is that you are two separate individuals because you are housed in separate bodies. This eternal link ensures that any healing, alignment, balancing and growing into your own personal truth and personal power is echoed in your twin flame. This brings you into a higher vibratory state and you will find more and more strength in your connection and your union as you heal, because you are healing for both sides. This includes practices such as yoga, meditation and spiritual or alternative healing, but it also includes raising your vibration in simpler ways such as spending time in nature, praying for or sending love to situations or people that stir your soul, sending love and light to your twin (some people advocate sending it in the shape of the infinity sign looping both your hearts and I do find this a comforting and beautiful practice), taking care of your body through conscious exercise and nutrition, and making sure you make time to rest and relax. You will notice which things you are being more guided to focus on at any one time by articles, guidance or advice from people you meet that repeats several times in a short space of time. Working on loving yourself more, in all the expressions of this you can possibly imagine, from self-care to believing in yourself to being romantic and caring towards yourself to allowing yourself more of what your heart desires to seeing yourself as beautiful to being able to say “I love you” to yourself – and mean it – in the mirror, is a big part of it. As you grow in your sense of self-worth and understanding the importance of being “in tune” with yourself and achieving high states of wellbeing, so your soul-song will resonate ever more clearly, harmoniously and melodically into the universe – and this acts as a heart-call, vibrationally, energetically, to your twin flame, as well as manifesting more unconditional love in the cosmos.

It will also help you stand in your power, speak your truth, speak up for what you need and desire, leave unhealthy situations and manifest more and more heart-led dreams in your life, both before and after physical union with your twin flame. It will likely also lead to your confidence growing to explore your creative expression, wherever your talents lie, whether you want to learn a musical instrument, sing, dance, act, paint, draw, sculpt, craft, create, swim, run, play team games, write, read for people, heal, or whatever else your heart desires. And know this: it is never too late. If the first time you felt in the right space to take your first painting class or do readings for people comes in your thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, or beyond: so what? We are all programmed to awaken and grow into our power, our fullest and brightest expression, at different times, in different ways. If it’s a heart-call to you, and it won’t be silenced, it is meant to be – even if it is only ever meant for your own healing and growth – but the chances are, I promise you, it will touch or heal or inspire others along the way too. I started doing readings in my thirties and now it is a regular part of my life which many people enjoy and benefit from – I started playing piano (something I have always wanted to do) this very year, at age 42! You never know where these things are going to lead you, but if they bring you inspiration and comfort and joy, then they are the right things to do. The more you become the most heart-aligned, soul-aligned, version of yourself (in other words, the more you embody your higher self) the more easily your twin flame will recognise you and the more you are in the right vibrations to manifest physical sacred union. It’s all about sharing your own unique soul signature, your love, with the world.

And finally…

You share your soul signature or soul resonance with your twin flame. Other people may be able to tangibly feel the connection between you as a result of this; it is like you are both amplified when you stand together in the same space. It is like two universes colliding, because of this amplification, and once collided they are never the same again. In a good way, but in a transformative way. If you are feeling you are a twin flame after reading this article, you should be aware that the journey may be long, it may not be easy and it will definitely be emotional. There will be times you feel you can’t go on and you have nothing left to keep you going – but there will always be an answer, somehow and some way, to your soul cry, because your twin flame’s higher self will always be there to catch you, and to provide in some way that sign or synchronicity or help from a timely source or nudge or intuition or dream or whatever (the possibilities are limitless because our souls are so creative and don’t view things from a limited perspective like we sometimes do), right when you need it. Try asking them for help, and see what happens. I may not yet be in physical union but I can honestly say I have never once felt abandoned or alone on this journey. And if you’re not sure whether or not you are a twin flame, try asking the universe, like I did, all those years ago, and watch what happens.

Though with the benefit of hindsight, journal everything – every mystical experience or every little thing you feel may be connected with the twin flame journey – from there on in – you may put the pieces of the puzzle together far faster than I did. Not everyone has to have a long and convoluted journey, and in many ways in the twin flames who have been awakened to it for years these long journeys were part down to inexperience and walking in the dark, and part down to the energies on our planet not yet supporting sacred union. Learning from the experiences of those who have walked the path before you may shorten your trajectory to union significantly. You may even find you have a twin flame who is already awakened and actually poised – I won’t say “waiting” because they are likely living a very full and highly spiritual life if they are a long way down the road, and “waiting” gives the wrong impression – to welcome you with open arms and their beautiful open heart. Nobody can love you like your twin flame; nobody can heal you like your twin flame (and vice versa). This is why it’s incredibly important for awakened twin flames who wish to manifest sacred union into physical reality to consciously heal as described above, because it directly affects their twin flame energetically.

But remember, your twin flame and you are one; so also, nobody can love you like YOU; and nobody can heal you like YOU. You have so much power. You are limitless. You are love.

I sincerely hope this helps somebody out there to formulate their own truth and walk a little stronger in their path.

Many blessings, Silverla. Xxx.