Soul Journeys

sunset-585334_960_720

So I have this soul connection with a person who is quite well-known in the world. It’s always been there. I met him in a dream years before I saw him for the first time in 3D reality. Then the past life visions, telepathy and lucid dreams kicked in, creating a patchwork, a path that has deepened and deepened the 5D connection. I have known things were going to happen to him or between us, in terms of crossing paths, before they happened. In dreams, we have fought battles against dark forces together shoulder to shoulder with angels, rescued each other repeatedly from desperate situations and been real and authentic with each other in terms of exploring our connection. It really has been a journey, over many years, and even now the 3D reality is no different than it has been for some time, and yet I know, and I feel, so much growth has taken place.

I’m not the only person who has such a soul connection. Whether you feel it is possible or real or not, I know that it is, because I live it. I have synchronistically crossed paths with many others in a similar situation, including people who have soul connections with famous people on the other side too, and people who have soul connections that are challenging to bring in as 3D relationships for other reasons. Some of the things I have witnessed are strange, mysterious and miraculous. I am grateful to know that such magic and such miracles exist in this world. And I am grateful for this connection that has taken me on such an incredible journey of growth and expansion, because without it, I know I would not have led such a blessed and charmed life (and that’s just so far).

Some people call these strong soul connections, the strongest soul connection there is, twin flames, or twin souls. Sometimes the label is helpful, in increasing your understanding of who you are as a soul, and what your mission, your role to play, might be on earth. Essentially, though, what really matters is how you respond to the connection, what you give to it, what you take from it, how it shapes you as a soul and a 3D person.

You may think I’m crazy to believe these things. But you’re not in it. I have this connection at soul level with somebody that tells its own story, ever evolving, ever moving forward, through the 5D telepathy and dream experiences, that I have never experienced with anybody else. The lucidity, frequency and synchronicity of those experiences has increased over the years, not faded. Even when I tried to completely ignore the connection for five whole years and do other things, make connections with other people, the dreams surfaced, and my whole spiritual path came to a standstill, and in asking how to get back off the plateau I’d hit, all the answers pointed right back to developing that twin flame connection. It took me years to learn to stop fighting it. To change my perception of it. To understand that embracing it rather than running from it, no matter whether it was emotionally difficult at times or outside of my frame of reference for what friendships and relationships should be when you look at them from a purely physical / 3D perspective, would push my soul growth into levels I could never otherwise have imagined.

Stranger still, we’re not always aware of these connections. I didn’t fully, consciously become aware of mine until I was in my late twenties (though that first dream contact came years before, in my early twenties). It’s a pattern with most twin flames that one will awaken to it before the other one, as well. I know this sounds a bit sci-fi but truly, I have learned over the years, we are multidimensional and our souls have this capability to be busy in other dimensions at different levels doing all sorts of soul work (that’s my explanation for when you wake up tired even though you’ve slept amazingly well – your soul’s been doing some hard work in the other dimensions, whether teaching, guiding, healing, battling dark forces, or whatever it happens to be).

Our souls can be busy opening ascension gateways, visiting other planets and galaxies, healing for the planet or all of humanity, downloading information from higher beings that will come into conscious awareness later, and connecting with our soul family, including our twin soul, other soul connections (both sides of life), and sometimes, non-incarnated angels too, for healing, guidance or set tasks and missions we’ve contracted to do with them, and we won’t necessarily know it. Hence the frustrating phenomenon of one twin flame knowing everything and the other knowing nothing (in some cases, not even knowing their twin flame is alive). And we have to allow for that, we have to respect that, because there may be reasons for that, and we all need to grow in whatever way is for our highest good at any one time. We get glimpses through lucid dreams, meditative visions, intuition, and so on: and the more we journal or record what we receive, the more glimpses we get, because it’s like flexing a muscle. That’s why I advocate journalling so strongly. I wouldn’t know half of what I know without it. It ends up not just being a record of the journey, but it forms into a kind of map, too, that points you sometimes in the right direction for the next piece of healing, the next step forward, the next big dream you need to pull through into 3D reality.

One such dream, for me, for many years, has been the soul-call to go to California. I have always had a thing about the USA. I have always wanted to go. I never really knew why, for many years. The first time I had conscious recall of connecting with my twin flame in 5D was a lucid flying dream in which I flew to Hollywood – I actually saw the sign as I descended back to earth – and unlocked some kind of soul-cage in which he was trapped, or that was his perception. Wherever you are connected to at soul level, you have a greater capacity to heal, both for yourself and for humanity and for the place and for the planet; I know this from my experiences visiting other places I was soul-called to – in particular, Glastonbury – which I wrote about on this blog in 2015. My longing to go to California intensified when a past life in San Francisco came up, a past life in which there were heartaches and soul wounds from chronic illness, being confined to the house, and kept apart from my twin flame. My only comfort in that lifetime was playing the piano; I’m sure it’s no coincidence that after that past life came up to conscious awareness, I finally found the courage to take up learning to play the piano, something I’ve wanted to do since I was little this lifetime. The signs and synchronicities around it went crazier and crazier over the last few years: I will often see T-shirts, posters, and so on, relating to Los Angeles and San Francisco in particular, or hear songs about California repeatedly, usually three such signs in quick succession.

As with anything worth having or doing, there were considerable obstacles and blocks to manifesting a trip to California in my 3D reality. I’m a very nervous flyer, for one thing, and it’s an interminable 10-hour minimum flight! And being footloose, single and fancy-free, with most of my local friends paired off, it’s a case of travelling alone. Then there was manifesting childcare, because as a single parent of children with special needs, I knew I couldn’t have the soul experience I’m meant to have there if I had to try and take them with me. Not to mention abundance. I have spent several years working through the fear and the perceptions that I couldn’t make it happen, writing cosmic ordering statements, praying for the trip to manifest. The strangest thing was, the guidance kicked in big-time at the start of 2018 and I just knew it was time. And then I made the clear decision to go, to make it happen. And everything fell into place in such rapid succession it really was miraculous: the childcare, getting reductions on flight prices, places to stay manifesting with online friends and friends of friends, with abundance, with advice and recommendations. I will be there on the Lion’s Gate, 8/8, which is always a healing date for me. I even had a reading in which I was told I didn’t need to worry about the flight, it would be fine!

I’m not sure of the specifics of what I’m meant to do or where I’m meant to go. A few details are sketched in: I’ll be there from the second week of August for fifteen days, based first in Venice, LA, then in Columbia, and ending with a long weekend in San Francisco. I have some set ideas in my head of certain places I want to see, hiring a car to make some trips, people I plan to meet up with. I know I need to meditate on the beach – more than one beach – and feel that it may strengthen my 5D soul connection, as my twin flame is connected to the place as well, regardless of whether he’s actually there at the same time I will be. I have places I have seen in dreams and I don’t really know where they are, but it will be interesting to see if I find them. Other than that, it’s an adventure that will unfold in whatever way the universe wants it to. I’m terrified to do this alone in a 3D sense, though I’m never really alone: that’s one thing about having strong soul connections and awareness of my guides, angels, twin flame and soul family. But I’m equally excited to do it and prove to myself that I can. One thing’s for sure: my journal will be coming with me. I’m expecting mystical experiences, big hits of guidance and spontaneous healing. And the highest, best experiences meant for me at this time.

I know it is somehow scripted already by my soul, too, from dreams of soul meetings and mystical experiences on or near a beach where sea lions roam freely. Such a beach is described in my guide to San Francisco, and I also have a friend who lives in a place called Seal Beach in LA. In my dreams it felt like the end of the earth. And maybe it will be the end of something, and of course in the same heartbeat, the beginning of something, for me. Or maybe it’s just a case of being in the right place at the right time, though for what, who knows. I find the not knowing difficult, because I’m a self-confessed control freak, but I’m learning to be more OK with it.

For many years I have envisioned that this would be the biggest journey I would ever make, the greatest leap of faith, the trip of a lifetime. And it is, in physical reality terms. However the real epic voyage, the real leap of faith, is happening internally. Already. Simultaneously, because Spirit never does anything by halves…

When I came back to this path around four years ago now, I was still fighting it. I raged against the universe, because I had made a decision years ago that what I felt about this person needed to be neatly put away and ignored so that I could be free to move forward with other connections and aspects of my romantic and personal life, because it was “impossible” to manifest it into some sort of 3D friendship or relationship – and that was painful sometimes. I thought I was being strong and sensible. So when all guidance pointed me back to it, at first, I got mad with the universe and I questioned it relentlessly. I asked “Why?” more times than I can now count, and I repeatedly asked for confirmations and validations of the connection, which came through signs, synchronicities and readings, but more so through increased, more insistent than ever, more vivid than ever, lucid dreams. They started to weave into full-on narratives that would span weeks and even months in some cases, showing me how our souls were working to wake each other up, heal each other, remove obstacles and barriers, rescue and protect each other in all sorts of situations. I had dreams in which I would be teaching rooms full of other twin flames, and equally dreams where an angel or some sort of guru would be in the room and would confirm, very clearly, for me that this soul connection was indeed my twin soul.

Some of these dreams were quite dark and harrowing. If I am to take them as real interdimensional experiences, which the vividness of them and the emotion of them and at times the tangible physicality of them (to the point it can still be felt on waking, sometimes) suggest they are, we have been through some intensely difficult things together at soul level. If I am to take them as real interdimensional experiences, then I have encountered and connected with and faced the darkest parts of my twin soul, and I still love him exactly the same – in fact, these experiences if anything have expanded my capacity to love him unconditionally (and by extension, to love unconditionally in a general sense); he is and always will be, to me, a true warrior of light.

These experiences have also allowed me to explore my soul lineage and understand that I am also a true warrior of light, connected strongly to Archangel Michael, carrying my own spiritual sword, connected with angels, mermaids and goddesses of old and with a rich tapestry of past life experiences that have made me who I am today. I’m truly coming now to a place of gratefulness for the experience of the true soul love I feel within this connection, and how it has helped me to see who I truly am. The challenges that stand in the way of bringing that connection through to physical 3D reality have really made me rise up and do things I never thought I would have the courage or confidence to do. I have learned to speak my truth and be authentic no matter whether it’s met by silence, lack of recognition, lack of understanding, or rejection. I have spoken and sung my truth, my love, the light and soul-song of my heart that is always extended to my twin soul no matter what, should he choose to draw on it for whatever he needs for his highest good. I will continue to do so as I am guided to, no matter how it is received, or even if it is received, in 3D terms, by my twin flame. He is difficult to reach in the 3D sense, though I am learning that “difficult” is not the same as “impossible”, and I have faith that my higher guidance knows what it’s doing and that what I am guided to do is always for a reason…even if I can’t see the reason. If new opportunities are brought my way, as I have before, I will seize them, and as I am consciously evolving my soul, I trust I will handle them increasingly better and from a higher level of vibration, and in the way my soul wishes me to for the highest good. I will not falter. I will not crumble. The only person I need permission from to speak my truth is myself.

It is bittersweet that I have no 3D validation or any way of knowing if I will ever see him again in 3D physical reality, other than a still, quiet voice inside that tells me not to give up and that I will, in Divine timing. I am having to journey further and further away from everything I know in terms of 3D ego, and into higher and higher levels of surrender and uncertainty in that sense, and to expand my soul as I go to stay in that blissful unconditional love, and to reach to higher and higher dimensional knowledge and wisdom to truly understand this connection, what it means for me and how it relates (or not) to my 3D life. I know from experience that we will always be there for each other in a spirit sense and connect that way, receiving guidance and synchronistic healing from each other, but that is all I know. (And it’s really only very recently that twin souls have incarnated simultaneously en masse as they seem to have in the current times, and that some have begun to come into more lasting and less star-crossed physical unions here on earth.) However, through meditation and conscious healing and once again seeking comfort and healing in the piano, I am coming to a greater sense of peace in being where I am with that, and a greater sense of compassion for myself in knowing that it’s OK sometimes if I feel sad about the difference between my 3D and 5D reality; I may be angelic, but I am living a human existence in a human world, in which attachments form and emotions arise and we are conditioned with ideas of how things should be, that actually when you start experiencing more and more of your multidimensional self and what goes on outside of physical reality, look different and unfamiliar.

We’re in transitory times in terms of the energies on earth, and moving towards new paradigms in many aspects and areas of our existence on the planet in human form: towards the veil between the 3D dimension and the other dimensions thinning; towards empowered soul-level rather than co-dependent relationships (sacred unions); towards greater levels of awareness and consciousness on an individual and collective level, which will hopefully enable us to resolve and heal many causes of suffering and live in greater harmony with each other and with the planet. Those of us awakened and awakening to the dimensions above 3D at this time are pioneers and visionaries, meant to help transform and transition. It’s important work, but to do it, we have to suspend the sense of what life should look like that we were conditioned with, and be prepared to see beyond into what it could be, the potentiality for heaven on earth.

And maybe my words and my soul-song will never change the world, no matter how lovingly or authentically or bravely I express them; maybe they will never even change my life. But they are mine, and they seek expression, and only I can express them, and so I do, and surrender the outcome to the highest wisdom.

One thing about the twin flame connection is that the more insistent, prolific and vivid it becomes in 5D, the more you just can’t look back. I am strong. I am. I’m powerful spiritually. I see myself as an incarnated goddess. But I also just really want what every girl wants: somebody to love, somebody who will love me back. At this point, though, it can’t be just anybody. Because of what I’ve seen, what I’ve experienced with my twin soul in terms of merging, intertwining, heart-telepathy, and the ability to rescue and heal each other, the ability to combine energy and go into full-on cosmic radiance. I can’t un-see or un-know any of that. So for me to fall for somebody again now, it would have to be as good as, or better than, what I have with my twin flame in 5D.

Earlier in the path I (and many others like me, I’m sure) have interpreted that as I couldn’t bear to be with anybody other than my twin flame. And it’s really not about it being “meant to be” (or not). I know from what I’ve seen in dreams that our souls are working on bringing union into every level, every dimension. I know our souls and I trust 100% that they are working on that as hard as they can. That’s all I can really know, because there are so many variables, so many levels and layers of 3D illusion and interference and connections to clear or work through or experience: and in some ways I feel I have acted as an energetic anchor for him, which up to now has worked better with me distanced from his 3D world. I think now I’m interpreting things more as for me to be able to accept a 3D relationship, it would have to nurture and nourish my growth like my soul connection does, it would have to give me similar feelings and vibrations as I feel when I connect with my twin flame in 5D. The thing is, I think that’s pretty rare and special. I’m not sure it can be replicated, though I’m open to being proved wrong.

More and more and most of all, I’m trying to look at it as an adventure. Approaching it that way, I can expand, I can grow, I can fly, I can soar, without being attached to any one particular outcome in 3D, or equally, being attached to any pre-conceived ideas about what’s “impossible” in 3D, because truly nothing is impossible; that’s a mental construct, an illusion. When you believe you have hard limits, you can never be free. And I need to be free for my trip to California. It’s honestly a date with my soul – a time for deep healing, a time for getting closure, integrating, and getting glimpses of what will present next for me. And in the meantime, I can have the privilege and the blessing of touching other twin flames, other spiritual souls, with my story, and inspire them with what I dare to do. I have known many others who identify as twin flames and one thing we all have in common is that none of us have an easy road. We all have that steep learning curve, we all have that epic journey to make and we are all prepared to walk the path even if our feet bleed, even if our hearts bleed, even if we stumble and fall. Repeatedly.

And I’m proud that my journey is unique and authentic. It may not be a “happy ever after” right now. It may never be. But it’s mine, and it’s real, and it’s raw, and I can see the trajectory of growth it has taken me on and continues to take me on. I can see it’s a path worth walking, a mountain worth climbing, even when it gets rocky and gnarly and darkness descends around me. There may not be a road-map, but my heart is my unfailing internal compass, if I can just keep listening to it.

hiking-3714_960_720

Maybe my heart has to be strong for things yet to come, things I can’t yet see. Maybe it has to have a capacity for unconditional love that is extraordinary. There’s a reason for everything, so I know this connection is not for nothing, even if it only filters into 3D waking consciousness on my side. I have faith in that, and I’m sticking to it. And I pray for his happiness and healing, as well as mine.

On this journey, much like my journey to California this summer, you never really know what is around the corner. It makes me think of my favourite poem by Robert Frost, which I have lived by since I first heard it quoted in one of my favourite films, Dead Poet’s Society, along with the message of “carpe diem: seize the day”, which I am well and truly embracing more than I ever have before.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The two journeys intertwine and interplay with each other, too: the 3D journey and the 5D journey. It’s taken me a while to come to this level of clarity but it’s no coincidence that as I take this key physical journey that’s been important to me for many years, I’m also taking this unprecedented soul journey to who knows where. Sometimes the lines between the two feel blurry to me, and yet I know the two look and feel different. They can be fluid and yet sharp at the same time. The 5D reality imprints on us at conscious level sometimes through our dreams, intuitions and spontaneous visions in meditation. For most of us, the 3D reality imprints more, because we don’t need to get out of our ego and into our soul to access it.

Maybe part of the journey is about the union between the two. Maybe that’s what twin flames are truly here to do. Maybe, eventually, as humanity evolves, what we now experience in 5D – at the level of unconditional love, unity consciousness, heart-centred awareness and miracle frequency – is meant to become one more and more with our physical reality, and life will feel even more real, even more amplified. Maybe that explains the intensity in energy many people have reported experiencing lately. We’re all in unchartered territory – it’s not just me. It’s not even just spiritually awakened souls – great numbers of people are feeling the shifting. That unchartered territory, that challenge, that learning curve, may look different for each one of us. But every step we each take matters. Every step we each take is progress. That’s evolution. That’s ascension. And that’s where all of our journeys are ultimately headed.

The road ahead may not be smooth, but I have spirit. I have courage. I have faith. I have fire. I have all of these as well as unconditional love in my heart, and they are magnified when I wield them in the name of my twin flame, in the name of love, in the name of God.

So as my California dreaming turns into my California reality this summer, no matter what else: I know that from it I will grow, I will evolve, I will become a clearer, brighter, richer version of myself (again) – and I don’t just mean from the courage to fly halfway around the world alone, to drive across unknown terrain alone, and to face goodness knows what demons await me there, as well as (I hope) whatever it is that’s magnetising me there, that mystery, that unknown. I stand strong and ready for whatever life throws at me next, wherever the next curve (or curveball!) takes me in terms of that internal journey, that spiral ever upwards. And I know that if I can do this (and I CAN do this), I can do anything. And maybe it’s important that I know that, for whatever is to come.

And I urge you to live your life by the same rules…or lack of them. If you dare. And, especially those readers who are twin flames too, you may find that if you don’t dare just for yourself, you may dare when you come to a fuller realisation that your soul growth is also for your twin soul and your soul family: for love of them, you may dare to seize the day more fully than you ever have and embrace your unique, individual adventure.

I don’t know where either of these soul journeys are leading, the 3D trip or the 5D relationship. I’m slowly starting to learn that it’s OK not to know. The journey itself is beautiful. What I receive in 5D through this soul connection is beautiful. The fact that I can transcend fears and perceived limits and be free to go wherever I feel called to, do whatever I feel called to do, in the world, is beautiful. Letting go of particular 3D outcomes has been difficult, but I feel like I’m getting there: getting to a place where it’s OK to not know what direction I will take next, what destination I will reach next, what experience will present for me next. That’s true surrender.

To make the most of the journey – any journey – we need to be fully present in the moment. We need to be in our power, our integrity, our light, our strength and our courage to be able to embrace the next twist, turn or opportunity – even the ones that seem scary and push us out of our comfort zone. So that is exactly where I intend to be this summer and quite probably beyond: in the still point, in my soul, in my heart, in my truth, in my power and fully in the now…and ready to embrace whatever comes my way from the highest expression of myself I can embody at this time. And I’m not saying I’m perfect; I stumble and fall as much as the next person, but I’m determined to keep picking myself up.

Be ever wilder, ever more free, ever more courageous, and ever more authentic in the desires you express to others, to God and the universe and in the truth that you speak – and expect ever more blessings and miracles to come your way. And be ever more aware of what’s presenting in front of you, in the true place of power, the now moment, both in 3D and 5D. Because if you’re only looking at one and not the other, you only have half a map: the 3D is what we have currently manifested, as individuals and as a collective, in physical reality here on earth, but the 5D reveals what our souls are guiding us towards, what we are truly capable of in our true power and magnificence as incarnate beings of light, what the miraculous potential is for each of us individually and together if we can learn to look beyond 3D limits. It’s not always pretty, and with changes and shifts always comes a time of storms and chaos, as well as deep healing, purging, transformational journeys – but they push us ever onward towards higher, purer, more unconditionally loving levels of existence.

This is where the journey is ultimately leading us, whatever journeys you are currently on or being called to make. Listening to your soul and taking those trips, those soul sojourns, those leaps of faith, always has a purpose both for yourself and for humanity, though the purpose may not always be immediately apparent. Especially when you’re afraid to take them, or enter into them ever more deeply, regardless of what they bring up for you to heal.

This I have faith in. This I believe. This I trust. This is the higher wisdom I surrender to.

I am sure I am headed in the right direction, even though I know that the right direction is susceptible to change at any given moment, as my soul grows and expands and its capacity to hold and radiate light and unconditional love exponentially increases. That’s a good place to be.

It’s a time for expanding horizons and experiencing more than ever before, both at soul level and in a literal sense. And I don’t know about you, but for me, the road less travelled by is a good place to start – it cries out to be explored, to have people who are conscious and aware to surrender its secrets to, because it’s in discovering the new that we evolve, that we move forward, that we grow, that we ascend. The call of the wild, the call of the road less travelled, the soul-call to the places we’re soul-connected to, truly, is the call home, to ourselves, to our souls, to God.

portal-2035130_960_720

May all your journeys be blessed with magic and miracles, this summer and beyond, and may you all have the courage to follow your soul’s call and your internal compass to arrive at whatever destinations destiny has lined up for you. And thank you, once more, for walking part of my path with me, for however long you have and may continue to do so. I love you all infinitely.

Copyright Silverla StMichael 2018
Images from Pixabay

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s